The dingos were all sleeping, the other staff members were sleeping as well. The night was bright with a winter moon, a lone coyote howled close by I stood outside the tent looking into the desert sky. The solitude of the landscape was deafening. Silence surrounded all living things and the juniper trees were standing still as if they were waiting patiently for orders from their commanding officer. I asked a question of my heart: are you on the trail of war or peace? And I listened to the answer… But my heart did not speak words to me. I crawled into my warm sleeping bag next to seven troubled youth going through therapy and I thought of my own four children, their goals, hopes, dreams, struggles and challenges. From the south hills a pack of coyotes began to howl, a hot coal in the campfire popped and I slipped away and dreamed a dream. In my sleep my heart was not so silent but it did not speak English. The language of my heart was trust. Two paths were before me they both led into the adventures of the wilderness I have learned to love. Each path had people on it traveling. Each path had mentors teaching youth. The youth on both paths had broken hearts and the mentors were guiding them toward hearts of peace. I stood on a hill looking at both paths knowing I had to choose one of them. One path had four youth and one mentor. The other path had seven youth and two mentors. I stepped closer to the path of the seven and my heart spoke peace and I thought this must be the right path for me. Then I stepped towards the path of the four youth and again my heart spoke peace to my mind. This confused me. I thought I would not feel peace on both paths. So I stopped and looked at the different trails again. But I did not see the trails, instead I saw myself on each trail and both trails brought me happiness, joy, and fulfillment in my life. My heart was at peace on both paths and I understood that the path I choose was not the thing that changes the nature of the heart. I vanished from both paths like smoke from a campfire disappears into the sky and my heart trusted the choice I would make. It was my choice and my heart was there to support me in my journey. I saw the faces of each person on the two paths, the choices they each made in their life had placed them on the path they were on but the path they traveled did not definite who they were. One by one I saw each face slowly coming toward me and then drift away into the desert nightscape. Each face with hope and fear, triumph and disappoint, some had hearts at war and some with hearts of peace. I saw the faces of the seven on their path looking forward to their families far away from a lonely desert plane of junipers, snow and giant sage. Then I saw the path of the four looking towards me, and their mentor also looking towards me. They traveled the path with peaceful hearts but their eyes kept looking to the empty spot at the campfire, and in their hearts they held trust for me and the decision I would make. I stirred in my sleep, a coyote howled across the brittle sky and I saw the mentor of the four, truly happy in her heart, with my choosing of either path. I sat down at the campfire of the four, we made simple food in silence, my eyes met the eyes of their mentor, she had been watching me place my steel cup into the coals, a gentle smile on her face. I turned over in my down filled sleeping bag and forgot the dream and slept peacefully.
